BOOK ASTRONAUT

Is it possible for a person to miss someone who she's never had contact and connection with? Apparently, yes.

Depression kills, they said. However, mine does not. Yes, it shits my life dozens of times but no, it's not capable of killing me. It just motivates me, gives me bigger inspirations and provides me a greater boost of morale. A greater boost of morale to die, the bigger inspiration to kill myself, and the motivation to finally make an outline of my killing-myself-deed. Actually, I'm not depressed. I am overreacting. In fact, I overreact every time a problem, even the tiniest sort, appears in my life. And I hate myself for that. I have been so used to complaining about everything that I grew up to become the whining bitch that I currently am. See, the past few months have been the hardest months of my life -- a lot harder than it was in junior high. Everything was harder. Quizzes, projects, responsibilities, and worse, the people surrounding me.  I am so not a stereotype and hasty-generalizer (yes, I'm passing a petition to add that word to Webster's) bu...

I, Rayjenn Charlotte M. Ferriols, on the 4th of July, declare myself a one-week ban from the internet for the reasons that follow: (a) I reckon that this week requires me no need to surf the internet for academic reasons; (b) I can save cash amounting to Php200.00 if I stick to my current method of making my assignments that require no purchasing of prepaid promo for my wifi, which is going to the library; and (c) I am currently teaching myself self-discipline and self-control whenever deciding on whether or not to spend cash since: 1) I spent more than enought last June 02, 2016, when I went to my haven, Fullybooked; and  2) I am new to handling my own monthly allowance, hence, lost of self control. Anyway, Bye Internet! :)) 

"At some point in our future lives, destiny will bring us together again. And it will not be because it meant for us to  learn together in one classroom once more,  but because of  something more than that." "At some point in our future lives, destiny will bring us together again. And it will not be because it meant for us to  learn together in one institution once more, but because of  something more than that."

14:34 My mom was crying as she bid me, who was walking with K away from her, good bye.   14:45 As the tricycle pushed its way to the bus station, I swallowed Digos with my eyes, trying to see and memorize every detail before I leave this place once more. 15:10  Just got into the bus with K, watching a movie I don't know what. I just know that Marcus Eaton is in it.  There's tons of empty seats here, I wonder why. Buses usually make sure that every seat   gets taken. What's up today? 15:13 Setting an alarm to 45 minutes from now. Dozing off. 15:15  Bloody shit there's an intimate scene going on in the movie right bloody now. Talk about awkward. 15:14 Got off for inspection. Do I, somehow, look like a bandit? Anyway, I dont want to know. 18:23 Cooking to ensure self-survival.  

Ever since age 12, the time when I had my first phone that has the app “Notes”, I have been keeping track of my life’s events. I had quite a lot of notes, to be honest. But because of the big irresponsible young kid that I was, the notes were destroyed with the phones that have been in my ownership for quite some time.  I wrote about everything. From to-do lists to crush encounters and such, all of my life was in there. There was a hiatus each year of course. When I get too occupied with real life that the thoughts from my mind have stopped conquering my phone's notes. But still, note-taking relaxes me.  And I'm glad to say that I'm back at it again. 

I glanced at the moon, I remembered you. During our Filipino class, I remembered you. I witnessed an apple falling to the ground, I remembered you. Looking at this Earth's canopy filled with white dots, I remembered you.  For once, kindly leave my mind alone.

Apparently, involving oneself in irresponsible sexual intercourse without the assurance of a good future and responsible accountability of the situation is like eating chocolate amidst heavy traffic without bringing a bottle of water. Both situations are two of the worst things to ever happen to a person. My point is, bring a bottle of water everywhere.

Part of our lives is the acceptance of the truth that one can never have a steady life free from the existence of external feelings that weren't born along with us. Feelings that are, sometimes, insignificant to our thrive for survival in this world of competition. And I'm talking about the feeling of being in love. 

Riding jeepneys, in the middle of an unmerciful traffic, has its advantage, you see. As it travels downtown, to different corners of the city, it convinces your mind to have a wandering of its own, deep where even the most expensive of vehicles cannot infiltrate. 

You were wrong. Things did end well. Or at least that's what I think. After all, I'm no fortune teller.

So this is it then. The night where I end my 16-year deed of clinging onto my parents, relying on their feet to stand for me. I'm leaving home. Going to an expedition I have no capability of knowing what to make of it. A journey I chose for myself, constructing the bridge connecting me to the successful adult that I soon will be.   During the past few weeks' span, I was counting down days. Now I can just easily count the hours left with just my left hand.

These were the thoughts I had gathered during the past few weeks. I kept them to myself for quite some time but I posted some of them on Facebook, the other one I didn't delete, and another one I did because someone told me that those thoughts I have gotten out of me at 03:00am won't make things end well. Okay. Here it goes. 12:00am thoughts. A message for Patrick You are the stars up in the sky, and I'm the earth, gazing at you dreamily, adoring your every glow.  You are THAT special and brilliant that even in your most subtle way, it still amazes me. You have this unique ability of making people think that their brains are just tiny atoms compared to yours that is as gigantic and as huge as a supernova.  I'll have you know that I am a simple and an ordinarily nonspecial girl. I see your posts that I still won't be able to decipher even if I get a PHD in Linguistics, I click like . I don't know why on earth I do that. I just want you to kn...

Hi! I’m back. Uh, yeah. *waves awkwardly* So, there’s something I’ll tell you about me that I’ve never mentioned to anyone before. I’M A SPACE NERD.  I am actually one of those kids who've always dreamed of getting into an EVA suit, riding a spacecraft, and floating in zero-gravity space.  But there's  something  getting in the way, sadly. IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO GET INTO NASA. Getting into NASA would be a lot of hard work and intellect. Damn, that last part is hard. Getting into NASA, well, you have to be on top, like able-to-reach-the-highest-part-of-the-universe top (see what I did there?). Unfortunately, I'm only able to achieve the 6th rank in our school. Question is, will that rank take me to space? Huh, I think not. Top students here in my country may not be very competent compared to other nationalities. Okay, I may be the most pessimistic person on Earth right now but that's the key to "NO FAILED EXPECTATIONS". So m...

You are 1D. You are my first year in BSA. You are my FB story views. You are him the second time. And you are gone, totally.